I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
