guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
