Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
