Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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