I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
