I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
