I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
