I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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