I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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