I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize