i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i think im in europe. pls send help
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
