Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
