Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
