I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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