Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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