I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize