I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
