This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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