Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
