Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
