69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
