I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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