margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize