honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
