Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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