Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
