Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
