Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize