Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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