i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
