is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
