Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
