what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
