You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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