I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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