can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
