i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
What a dumb baby whore.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't deserve a penis
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
