remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
