To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Randomize
