omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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