two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
