I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
