There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
