I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize