You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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