Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
