Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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