can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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