Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
