THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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