please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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