I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
