all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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