she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
