The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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