this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
