We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize