I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just found puke in my bra..
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
