splinters make it hard to masturbate
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize