that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize