Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
