holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
