Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
