We named our party play list daddy issues
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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