North Korea, Best Korea!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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